Old Posts - April 2001

	Sunday Apr 29th 11:55pm by Brian -

It's a good thing Natty is cheap because otherwise, this pyramid would have been quite costly. This pic was submitted to us by Nick, Class of '00 at A&M. A friend of his constructed this pyramid. He also sent us in some good toasts which are Toasts for Guys #5-8 on the Toasts Page. Good stuff. This weekend sure did get slow after Friday night's fun. I think Parents Weekend kind of sucks the life out of this town. Although, it does ensure that traffic everywhere is a complete bastard. Of course, it is only a bastard to relative to normal College Station traffic. You can still get anywhere in this town in 5 minutes. It's been a while since someone sent us a really good drunk IM. I know that Alan sure does his fair share of drunk IMing, but the rest of you need to sit down at your computer and pound on some keys when you come home drunk as a poet on payday. Jon and I did some good buzzed IMing, but it was even better since it was half English and half French. Too bad I forgot to save it. Eh, bof. This is the kind of drunk IMing we encourage. Of course, just steer clear of IMing ex's. God knows that is a bad idea because most ex-girlfriends are like stray cats- they'll actually leave if you stop paying attention to them. SimCity4 warez

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Finally a Rice Boy recognizes he's a rice boy. I think all the Civics, Accords, Miatas, CRXs, and other import "supersport" cars should have stickers like this. Don't know what a rice boy is? Go read up about them on riceboypage.com. They have some great hall of famers.

Nothing says good times like doing some drinking and watching 4 guys each down a pitcher. In the pics above, Janek, Bob, Kurt, and Jason(L to R) are all dunking their rings. Kurt came in first with a time of 41 seconds. I am not sure about the times for everyone else. However, impressively enough, Janek didn't puke. We assume he has an alcoholic tapeworm living inside him which was consuming the alcohol for him. "That guy" award for the night would have to go to Ray who verbally crossed every line possible. Quote for the night was "If it's wrapped in plastic, it has to be clean."

So why is there a picture of a museum up here? (not that you can really even tell it's a museum) Well I figure if we're going to have 1000 police and secret service officials running around 1 block from campus you ought to at least know what is going on. President Bush is going to give a speech to dedicate the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum tomorrow (Saturday) at 12 noon. So in case you want a chance to take a swing at the president I figured I'd let you know where he'll be tomorrow. Nice to see all our wasted tax dollars go to useless things in Texas rather than Arkansas I guess.

Well, it is nearing the end of the semester, and we still have some great TamUt.com shirts for $10 each. One of the shirts is being modeled by my hot friend, Princess Lindsay. The fronts of the shirt say either "COLLEGE" or "BEER." She also modeled the fronts of the shirts, but they didn't turn out real clear. Just e-mail me at typingmonkey@tamut.com if you want a shirt. I wore mine today to basketball class, and a dude recognized me as the guy from a bunch of pictures on there. I might as well just change my name to "that guy with the website."

And after weeks of competition, Shiner Bock is the best beer according to the Great TamUt Beer Contest. Personally, I wanted Sam Adams Octoberfest to win it all, but that's just me. I would've posted this earlier, but I was busy watching the Avs/Kings overtime period. Always funny to see the Kings keep on upsetting the higher ranked teams. Of course, none of those games matter since Dallas is winning the West anyways. STARS RULE!!! Oh yeah, and click here if you wanna see the complete bracket from The Great TamUT Beer Contest.

It's always good to get some funny submissions. There is nothing quite like being ripped on a Tuesday night, and Baylor Matt proved that when he sent this IM to Lindsay(aka Big Chest, Nice Body). Also, we got a good toast sent to us from Justin who used to work at Barracuda Bar. Here is something that wasn't sent to us, but I think everyone should read it. Well, every guy should read it, and girls who aren't easily offended should read it. So, don't bitch at me if you don't like it...I warned you. Click here to check it out. Finally, here is an article that was in The Batt on Monday. I would've posted it earlier, but I forgot shit easily. That article will totally redefine your definition of "excessive drinking."

Remember, voting for the Championship Match of The Great TamUt Beer Contest will begin tonight at midnight as Corona and Shiner Bock face off in what is to be a great battle.

Finally, the field has been narrowed down to the last two beers- Corona and Shiner Bock. Today, we will have a break from voting, and the voting will start tonight at midnight. This shall be a great battle of two titans. I am very sad to see Heineken and Sam Adams Octoberfest eliminated. For all of you who haven't had Sam Adams Octoberfest, I suggest you try this seasonal brew when it is again available. It's my favorite beer. Good stuff.

We love good submissions. While this picture didn't come with any kind of story, I don't think that it really needs a story. You just know some kind of crazy shit happened that night. And it brings up a good point about toga parties. When is that you actually see people at a toga party dressed in togas? It pisses me off. When you go to a toga party you wear your damn toga. Don't puss out and just wear jeans. When (someday) we have our toga party, you will wear togas or you won't get in the door. Period.

Well people we're down to the Final Four beers. We have 3 very tough battles ahead of us. These are undeniably 4 of the greatest beers on the market and to have to choose one over the other is going to be tough. But that's not my job so I don't have to worry about it. That's your job. While I thought Corona was going to kick some major ass, it's down by one vote at the time of this post. We'll see how the day progresses. Vote on.

The pictures from Friday have been boyfriend approved and can now be seen on this page. If you are a man, I highly suggest that you click the previous link. Well, if you are a straight man, you should. If you are those guys we saw on the UT campus who were carrying the five foot long inflatable penis, then you shouldn't even bother clicking on that link. Also, Lindsay can be seen as the current "Drunk of the Week" on Drunk at Purdue. Lindsay wants to hear your comments about the pics, and so if you have any comments, just send them to typingmonkey@tamut.com. Finally, props to Lindsay's boyfriend, Chris, who trusted us and his girlfriend enough to do this photo shoot. Good man.

Yeah, last night was nice. Got the drink on. Played some 42. Found out who really was responsible for hitting the golf balls at Riley's. Went to a party where a chick automatically recognized me from TamUt.com. I guess I am now known as "that guy with the website." Oh yeah, and somewhere during the course of the night, the unbelievably hot Lindsay modeled her bikini for us on The Bar. Yeah, that was nice. I got plenty more pics of it, but I won't post the page of them until I get her boyfriend's approval on those. Of course, I will get to see all of them, and Jon and Alan were lucky enough to also be present at the event. Good times.

Alan reinforced that he is a drunken IM machine with his IM to Jenny. Click here to read this funny shit. I would be able to add my own drunken IM to AJ from last night, but I forgot to save it. Maybe Super Dave should have told me to save it. Where were you on that one, dip shit? All I know is that I told AJ that she is really hot. At least I wasnt' lying, and so it could've been worse.

I used to think that chalking campus was limited to TamUt.com advertisements, birthday announcements, and the GBLTA pissing off 90% of the population. However, it can also be used to make sure that everyone knows about 4:20. If you don't know what it is, you are stupid and/or were extremely sheltered as a child. Anyways, if you don't know what it means, it won't affect you anyways. However, for the toking population of the world, you know what to do. Maybe the CS cops will be looking for pot more tonight and forget about all the underage drinking. I am sure I will see a cop roll by my place this evening. Evidently, since I burn incense in my apartment to make it smell nice, it means that I have a large stash of narcotics. Sure, I don't see the connection, but then again I don't think as slow as College Station cops. For those in Austin, I am sure you will see a huge cloud of smoke hovering over the UT campus that could rival the cloud at Reunion Arena during the Pantera/Black Sabbath show.

With a 180-151 victory over ZiegenBock, Heineken proved its supremacy and kept hell from freezing over. Alan's army proved to be a formidable opponent in the voting, but the Heiney fans prevailed. This was the best day of voting so far. I hope the voter turnout is as good for the Guinness/Corona battle, a match between two international powerhouses. It's a tough call between those too beers and each has good qualities. Guinness provides a stout beer not suited for binge drinking that can double as a full meal. Corona is the ultimate beer if you like limes and like to drink near water. It should be a close battle.

Well I wrote up a breif explaination of my b-day's activities. It's very very breif, but to be more descriptive would just take too much time and might waste more of you time, you get the point. I also added some of the pictures that I took from both Thursday and Friday.

Since Ronnie took me out for my B-day on Thursday, I may as well talk about the site he runs. Shishah.com If you don't know what Hookahs are, go read about it on his site. They aren't really intended for weed, but I've heard of someone sneaking it in there a time or two. But it's some cool shit.

Fuck Canada. Just fuck their country in general. Screw their hockey teams(specifically, the Oilers) who get butt lucky in OT while on the power play. Their goalie saved their ass, and they just got lucky in OT. Just like their goalie saved their ass in Game 3, but we prevailed in OT in that one. So, screw Salo. Screw Doug Weight even more than Salo though. That rat bastard took out Matvichuk with a dirty fucking hit in the first. I hope the league slaps at least somewhat of a small suspenion on his ass after his Game Misconduct. If they don't, I am sure Hatcher will impose his own "penalty" on Weight that will be much harsher than anything the league can do to him...unless the league can board his ass and break his jaw in three places. Yeah, you remember that whole Jeremy Roenick thing. Bastard had to have his jaw wired shut. And to hell with their substandard beer. It's no mystery why no Canadian beers were nominated for The Great TamUt Beer Contest. Well, none were nominated without something such as "I'm just fucking with you" following their suggestion. Well, enough ranting. Time to burn a Canadian flag. Yeah, nothing burns like in effigy.

On Sunday, Joey Ramone, lead singer of The Ramones, died at the age of 49. Although half of you probably don't know who The Ramones are, you should know that they basically invented punk rock. So, anytime you hear a Blink182, Green Day, or NOFX song(I don't feel like listing more punk bands), just remember that you wouldn't be hearing that song if it hadn't have been for The Ramones. In his honor, I have posted The Ramones' version of "Happy Birthday" from the Simpsons here.

On a happier note, I have completed Jokes Archive #18. This jokes archive is pretty much non-stop laughs. There are ten jokes in there, and I suggest you read them all. If you are too damn lazy to read them all, you need to at least read the Booty Call Agreement.

I hope everyone had a good Easter weekend and a safe drive back to your respective college towns(if you even left). I know I had a good Easter break. We got to celebrate Matt's 20th birthday on Friday. Sure, we thought Austin might be a little dead with people leaving for home. However, we sill managed to have a damn good time. The pics from our night are here. Pretty good drunkenness in there. Too bad the pic of Doc, Eric, and some random dude having a foot race just off of 6th Street didn't turn out so well. Also, I forgot to get a pic of the hot waitress at Bob Popular's. Oh well, we will got good pics. A story shall follow those pics once Matt and I get a chance to write it. We will also add any pics from his digital camera.

Well my birthday has come and gone and I think I definitely made the best of it. Brian, me, and the rest of the crew in Austin had some damn good times last night. Though I think Brian remembers more of it than I do. Take for example when I passed out in my chair and they balanced 4 beers on my head; I am sure I don't remember that. Pictures will be up pretty soon (hopefully tonight) since you are probably at home right now on you parents computer because you're home for Easter and bored out of you mind.

In the mean time you can read Drunken IM #10 which is between Brian and I after Thursday night's partying. I think I have a better one from last night. I'll put it up in a little while. Not that it's really crazy shit typed, just great that I passed out on the keyboard in the middle of chatting.

just making sure ya'll know tonight is my fucking b-day until midnight. we be drunking likke mofo now. yes yes, ture true. a good easter. and friday the 13th.

My b-day is in 1 hour and i'm partying my ass off. Heading down to 6th. If you are reading this, you need to get off your fucking computer and get your ass down to 6th street to fucking party.

The submissions just keep coming in. Lindsay sent us in this great Drunken IM between her and Alan. I also talked to Alan that night, and so I can verify that he was truly FUBAR(been a while since I used that acronym). We have also been getting quotes sent it, but as Matt has said before, we are looking for original quotes. Sure, there are lots of good quotes from movies and tv, but we have heard all of those. We are looking for spontaneous, drunken outbursts. Those are the funniest. So, I did add one quote to the Quotes Page since the person who submitted it had that idea in mind. Also, these quotes are supposed to be funny, but we got one quote sent in that said, "I mean, don't you just wish sometimes that you had a catheter?" I'm not really sure what the hell that is supposed to mean, but I do know that Drunk + Catheter = Ouch. Hell, Catheter = Ouch.

First round of the Great TamUt Beer Contest turned out as expected with Guinness beating Fat Tire with a sizeable lead. Keep up the good voting.

Remember about 3 weeks ago I went to Tech? Yea, a long ass time ago. Well I've just been really lazy and haven't put up the few picutres I took while I was there. All in all, it was an okay place to visit and party for the weekend, but not a chance in hell I'd want to stay there any longer. True I got to hang out with some fine women, but lets look at the downsides. The air smelled like cow shit. I'm serious. I get out of the truck to walk into Best Buy and all I can smell is cow shit. It was awful. I ask, "Is this normal?" They reply, "Well only in the evening." Then it starts to rain. All 6 lane roads quickly the 2 lanes surrounded by 3 foot rivers. I ask, "Is this normal?" They reply, "Well only when it rains."

'nuff said. But I did find that dog that loved to drink beer from the can. Might have been the best thing about the whole weekend. Right?

The entries are in, and so let the Great TamUt Beer Contest begin. We have received your suggestions and compiled them with a list of our own favorites to form a bracket of 16 beers. Of course, I disallowed any suggestion such as Coors Light, Bud Light, or anything with the word "Ice" in it. This is the Great TamUT Beer Contest, not a contest to see which beer has the closest properties to urine. Now, it is your turn to decide which beer is the greatest from our list. Tonight, at midnight, the battle between Fat Tire and Guinness shall start. Voting will be done on our normal polls. Each poll will run from midnight to midnight, when the next battle will begin. In the event of a tie...eh, we'll think of something. At the end of this contest, one beer will emerge as the Best Beer according to TamUt.com. May the best beer win.