Friends' Quotes

This is a page that has accumulated over the years of drinking. I'm sure that most of the quotes explain themselves. If you have a question about what the relevence of the quote is, post it on the message board. We or someone else may or may not have a good explaination as to what the hell was going on. Enjoy.

Most Recent Quote

"I'm not an alcoholic; I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
-Damon "Doc" Jonhson

"Why am I so thirsty if I drank so much last night?"
-David Mullenix

"It's 5 o'clock somewhere."

"I love drinkin' beer!"
-Cody Wayne Maxwell Powell (at 2 P.M.)

"It's time for Plan C."

"I'm not drunk occifer; I just can't walk straight right now."
-Aaron Armstrong

"You have been officially cut off."
-Damon "Doc" Johnson

"I don't need alcohol to have a good time, but it sure never hurt."

"Fuck beer. Give me Crown."
-Peter "Petus" Devries

"No matter how much you shake and dance, it always leaves something for the underpants."
-Peter "Petus" Devries

"Hey, that's my feer, baggot."

"No, I am not drinking. I am just holding these for someone else."
-Huntley Campbell

"That motherfuckin' fence was talking shit, and I kicked its fuckin' ass."
-Huntley Campbell

"Is anyone fucking with you Betik?"
-Huntley Campbell

"Outiee 5000."
-Ryan Christopher

"Hot monkey love!"
-Peter "Petus" Devries

"I am strictly a beer, wine cooler, margarita, and daiquiri girl. No hard liquor for me."
-Jackie Hodge

"If the tiger tail is up, don't come a knockin'!"
-Ashley Feffer

"Follow the flashing light...follow the yellow brick road..."
-Cindy McCormack

"It's all about great times."
-Jeff Cox

"A flipper tattoo is never a good idea no matter how drunk you are."
-Elizabeth Zapata

"Matt, you're an asshole; that's why you don't get any pussy."
-Jess Jones
Note from webmaster:
The Matt in the quote does not refer to the webmaster. Rather to Matt Powers, whom fits the description in the quote.

"Nice guys get head."
-Jess Jones

"You don't go to Baylor, you wouldn't understand."
-Matt Powers

"We will have beer."

"Justice, you have the tolerance of Superman."

"A quadruple shot of Jack isn't probably the best chaser after a beer bong."
-Adam "Goof" Justice

"I don't drink to forget my sorrows...but it sure does help."
-Adam "Goof" Justice

"I can't believe we drank so much beer."
-Eric Cummings

"Adam, please put your pants on."
-Lisa Clanton

"That is just my elephantitis."
-Adam "Goof" Justice

"Baby, keep smiling."
-Amanda "Crazy" Smith

"Pete, you deserve an award for that."

"I'm all about the fruity drinks."
-Sarah Young

"A woman's hippocracy knows no bounds."
-Kurt Schumaker

"Women just fuck up rational thought ..... along with computers and driving."

"Jesus was a poor bastard."
-Matt Powers

"Hey man, could you cool it? We have kids here!"
-Guy in front of us at ballgame in response to Matt's quote

"First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you."
-Andy Lee

"There are no losers in drinking games."

"I hope you all get syphillis and die."
-Eric Cummings in response to a loud Texas Tech fan

"You have to get up pretty early in the morning to outdrink me cause I start at dawn."
-Damon "Doc" Johnson

"Hey, I'd rather be pretty than smart. And that's just the way it is here at Tech."
-Mandy Garcia

"It's true though."
-Mandy Garcia (after Matt busted out laughing from the above quote)

"I need a warm cup of sex."
-Jen Bales

"I am all sorts of fucked up!"
-Jason Watson

"Damn, that bottle of tequila could intoxicate a small African nation."
-Jon Apgar

"Hey, don't kick the keg like wasn't his fault."
-Jon Apgar

"She's got big jumblies, you might like her."
-Jess Jones

"That's not a quarter; that's twenty-five cents."
-Matt Powers

"What have I got to lose but some man juice?"
-Jon Apgar

"That's a sign from God. One-eyeds are wild."
-Eric Cummings (after fixing his contact in a poker game)

"Betik, your parties are hazardous to my health."
-Super Dave

"That girl is way too hot to be dating a slapdick."
-Jon Apgar

"Rolling too hard to work internet."

"Mine's no bigger round than a beer can, but long goddamn it's long."
-Ray Green

"I've realized dating causes a decrease in cash and an increase in sobriety."
-Jon Apgar

"Does a Whataburger have meat in it?"

"I'm only being nice to you because you're such a slut and I might get laid!"
-Pete (from Tech)

"Yellow and Red are just stupid colors. Green is good."

"If I go to heaven, and it doesn't look like Chilifest, I want to go to hell!!"

"I want to have sex with you AND that girl out there that's hotter than you."
-Omar Garza

"I have no problem talking to strangers, its getting them to suck my dick that's the problem."
-The Jew

"God's last name isn't Damnit"
-D X

Guy: maybe you should take me out
Girl: maybe i should swallow glass

-friend's IM conversation

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