Old Posts - October 2002

	Thursday Oct 31st 5:14pm by Brian -

Although we decided to celebrate it a week early, Halloween is finally here. Yes, it is time to dress up in your favorite costume, go door to door asking for candy, and freak our your college student neighbors who didn't even bother purchasing candy. Or you could just skip that last part and go out drinking in your costume which is what I assume many of you will do. However, this is no time to half ass your costume selection, this is the time for you to make something that people can describe as lewd, inappropriate, risque, etc. And for all of the ladies out there, if you're costume description isn't preceded by slutty, dirty, or sexy, then you just missed the whole point. I assume most of you have picked out costumes by now, but if you are looking for last minute costume suggestions, click here. cheat codes tibia This picture reminded one of our reader's of our page. I ain't afraid of no ghost.

I know it is several days after the party, but sometimes school work gets in the way of posting and what not. The Halloween Party at The Bar on Friday was quite a smashing success. Although fire, police, and EMT all showed up at some point, everyone had a good time. When you put together a keg of Doc's homebrew and a few gallons of Syphilis Juice, you are bound to have a good time. And since it was a Halloween Party, it was nice to see the majority of the people dress up. We had some Swingers, a nurse, a genie, the Bumblebee Man, Barbie, Anna Nicole Smith, a condom fairy, a slutty cop, Indiana Jones, and the one and only Beaver Patrol Committee. We got an insane amount of pics, and more are still coming in. You can view the first 150+ here.

My feelings on this weekend's football game: glad we won the Big XII title in '98, but it is time for you to find a new job, R.C.

I finally decided to change the poll. Our last poll showed one hell of a bell curve. It was a bit closer to a bell curve earlier during the polling, but it still looks pretty nice. Warning: if you have a a freakish love of statistics and a heart condition, please do not view the results of the last poll. The current poll stems from a conversation I had with Princess Erin. We were trying to figure out how we both got stuck with some shitty neighbors that seem to never to do any work and are always drunk and loud. We both came to the conclusion that Blinndergarten freshmen need to live somewhere, and that we just were unlucky to live next to some. The poll is just to figure out how many other people were unlucky.

You know what I think is funny. These new Michelob Ultra commercials. They talk about this ultra low carb beer they have and all the while they show people working out or biking. So are they trying to suggest that the beer will help improve their athletic ability? And on top of that, 2.6 grams of carbs is no breakthrough in brewing. Miller Lite has 3.2, Coors Light and Keystone Light have a whooping 5 grams. So let's see, at 4 calories/gram of carb that's an additional 3 calories for Miller Lite. Whoa, I don't know if I can spare that. I need to stay in perfect shape and drink my ultra low carb Michelob. Because at 11 grams of poison (alcohol) that's about 76 calories each beer only from alcohol and that is what will help me bike an extra mile. My prediction, Michelob Ultra flops big time but nice try.

So I was looking only for interior doors (don't ask why) when I stumbled upon The City of Austin.org. This a handy little site that lists businesses from liquor to bars and clubs to completely useless info. But if you live in Austin I'm sure you can find a use for it. I found what I was looking for.

I did venture to the land of College Station this past weekend. As soon as I get the pictures up, I'll post a little story entailing my adventures with a whore house, a car stuck on the railroad tracks and croquet with beer bottles.

I don't know if it just me, but I tend to answer my phone with a friendly Hi, Hello, Sup, etc. And when I complete a call, I use an appropriate closing such as Bye, Later, etc. Evidently, I am too fancy and polite by tv standards because they tend to do stuff a completely different way than I. They answer the phone by just stating their last name and end all conversations by hanging up when they feel the conversation has ended. I think it is time to test out this tv method of phone etiquette. From now on, I shall just answer my phone "Bojangles here" and try to find an appropriate hang up time in a conversation. Something tells me that finding a good hang up time will be a tad tricky, and I'll probably end up pissing a lot of people off. But if it is on the tv, it has to be right. Right? Damn straight. And speaking of crackpot schemes that will inevitably turn out poorly, I have a little love advice for the masses. During the first few minutes of a conversation with a newly acquainted member of the opposite sex, make sure to mention that you are "into the group thing" and see what kind of reaction you get.

Needless to say, this post was fueled by the need for a distraction from studying for a test that I have this evening.

So I'm a lazy ass and haven't posted about OU for a week, but what are you going to do. This year's road trip was filled with all kinds of excitement not excluding window washers, exploding cars, and a few spirited fans left even after our defeat. The game was a huge disappointment. Two things made the game bad for me: 1.) we got no offense (well we never have this season, it just really showed finally), and 2.) some really bad calls. Remember the defender that got slammed into the punt returner and we got a huge penalty? A lot of horrible pass interference calls and missed holding calls on OU as well. I'm not saying we would have won had the calls been different, it just really starts to aggravate.

Saturday night was great because I got to meet up with SMU's one and only Dan Turney. For those of you that don't know how goofy Dan is, go check out his page I made in honor of him many years ago. Saturday night rounded off as my friend Ronnie and I smoked out the car with some Shisha. Now don't get me wrong, I've never smoke a cigarette and I don't smoke crack, but Shisha (tarless tobacco) is some good shit.

You can click here to see all the pics.

Last night I did a little drinking and put on a poker clinic at Marc's place. There was nothing too crazy about that except for a span of a few minutes before play started. A few of us were sitting around the poker table when someone knocked on the door. Our friend, Jen, went to answer it, and the gentleman at the door asked to speak to the man of the house. Marc went to the door, and the the gentleman gave the typical bullshit story about being out of gas and needing some cash. Marc, being experienced with the door-to-door swindler, just simply asked the gentleman to leave and shut the door. This prompted Tom to ask if he should go lock up his bike. He then went outside to discover that his bike was missing. He took off around the corner to try and catch him when he spotted the gentleman riding off on his bike. He yelled for the guy to stop, and instead of just taking advantage of his lead and continuing away with the stolen bike, he slammed on the brakes, the front wheels locked, and he flipped over the bike. After collecting himself, he just took off on foot. Unfortunately, I did not get to witness that part, but that kind of footage is what fuels World's Dumbest Criminals '02. After talking with some local gestapo, we learned that this guy operates in the area and usually tries to crash at people's places but is essentially harmless. What's the lesson here? If someone comes to your door asking for money, give him a bike and bust out the video camera.

From time to time, people take our advice and send us stuff that we can post on the internet. The picture on the left is a good example of a quality submitted picture. One can only guess why Megan was in that position on the hood of a car. There are a few more pics from the same "White Trash Bash" on the Submitted Pics Page. Pics from the "White Trash Bash" were provided by Sarah and posted with implied, oral consent.

People also send us some good rants. One of my friends, Natalie, decided to send one in that is a rant on a certain group that attended an A&M game. It is a little rough and unedited, and she obviously made no attempt to use proper spelling or grammar. I would've rewritten her story completely and then still left some words spelled incorrectly, but only an editor at The Batt would do something like that. However, the story is still quite surprising seeing as I have never encountered a group similar to the one described in her story at an A&M game. Click here to read it.

And if you have something that you want posted on TamUt, e-mail it to Suggestions@tamut.com.

As you can see it's just another thursday night on the town, except with the addition of a huge kool-aid guy that was passing out comedy club flyers. Last night I met up with uncle Jager and caught on old times. Yea, me and uncle Jager had a long chat, remembering the good ol' days of summer and even got a little crazy. We'll be hanging out all weekend in Dallas so last night was really just an introduction.

Ok, so I got really shitty last night (thanks to my alcoholic uncle making take more and more shots) and for some reason wake up at 8am this morning (probably because I only made it halfway on my bed, the other half hanging off). So I'm walking around my apartment packing and such when I walk into my room and NAIL my pinky toe on the corner of my couch. I heard a snap and I fall. I look at my toe and see that it's at a 45 degree angle from my other toes. I now have it taped to my other toes to keep is straight and wait for it to heal. As the minutes pass it hurts more and more while the swelling grows. What timing, this is going suck as I stand for 3 hours tomorrow.

So you're going to the game and just aren't pumped about it yet? Or maybe your not going to the game and would like to get pumped up for the hell of it. Go check out the highlights at this site and enjoy my friend.

Off to Dallas!

After fighting off the porn industry and successfully resurrecting Drunk@College to its past glory, Neverclear(webmaster of D@C) has suffered the final setback to the D@C machine. This setback comes in the form of a lawsuit and a threat to withhold a degree over a picture on D@C that was two years old. Head over to PurdueOnline for the full story from Neverclear himself. However, make sure and continue to read Site73.com, a great site also by Neverclear.

With this latest attack on D@C from the Purdue administration, we at TamUt can only wonder if we shall inevitably suffer a similar fate. Well, the obvious answer is no. After the first incident with the UT administration, Matt and I just assume we must be invincible. It reminds me of the episode of Friends where Chandler's boss says that they keep throwing those sexual harassment suits at him, and he keeps knocking them out of the park. With that in mind, I hope we never get that backdoor slider with an 0-2 count.

And in the spirit of sticking it to the man, I must remind you that TamUt keeps the full version of Steal This Book on our server for your reading pleasure.

Well this weekend (and by weekend I do include last Wednesday) has been quite eventful. Wednesday night was drinking and watching "Saturday Night Fever" night in preparation for Saturday. I have to say that is kind of a weird movie. Thursday is mandatory night on the town with the standard crew. Friday night was a "Back to High School" theme party then party hopping from there. But what made Friday night especially crazy was the fact that someone was killed in Melrose Apartments. Yea, pretty fucking crazy. Updated 10/7: I talked to a girl that new both of the guys involved. Ryan was a really big guy who killed Johnny (to make the story easier to tell). Everyone in the story had been drinking that night. Ryan was driving in Melrose to his g/f's place and looking for a place to park. He was waiting for someone to pullout of a spot and hence blocking the road for a little while. Johnny was in a car full of guys behind them and started yelling shit to get them to move. Ryan and his friend was going to get out but the girl in the car wouldn't let him. So Ryan and his friend go to his g/f's house and he gets on end of "The Club" (the thing you put on your steering wheel) and his friend gets the wooden stick off of a plunger. They go back out to look for the guys that were yelling at him. They find Johnny and they start yelling and shoving and such. Johnny pushed Ryan's friend down and at that point his friend said that he changed his mind and that they shouldn't fight and dropped his stick. At about that time Ryan came and hit Johnny on the back of his head with "The Club" It pretty much lodged in his head. Ryan ran and called the cops b/c he knew it was bad off and turned himself into the cops when they came. Johnny died the next morning after they dropped the life support. Sucks for both of those guys.

On a lighter note, The 70's party on Saturday was a blast. We even had a VIP stash of goodies. Staci was there to keep my hoes in line in case there were any problems. Normally I'd write an entertaining story describing the night, but I'm too damn tired. You can click here to look at all the pics and make up your own story as you go along.

As local merchants and residents board up their windows and bolt lock their doors in preparation for a weekend of inhabitance by a number of hooligans, I figured it was my duty to construct some sort of graphic that best showed the effect of the LCC/A&M game on the local area. And since I thought footage from the Bumfights videos would be too offensive to the bums and cause them to seek legal action in the form of a defamatory suit, I created the above graphic. Enjoy.

I don't know how well the Yell Leaders have responded to my Beat The Hell Outta LCC idea, but it at least caused the creation of a thread on Hobbes. I guess that is a quasi-moral victory.

So the other day the DEA and Postal Inspectors department decided they needed to raid my house back home with 8 guys because of stuff that I had ordered there. Apparently it wasn't illegal in the form it was shipped, but could be chemically changed into an illegal substance so they confiscated it and I'm out $100 bucks. Those fuckers.

Speaking of which, I was talking with a guy at a wedding the other day and he worked for the Special Operations Detachment of the Army. Their job is to keep illegal drugs out of the country (from Columbia especially) and also prevent terrorism. He tells me these awesome stories about repelling from a helicopter onto a ship with 5 of other guys and holding 100 people hostage in Kevlar suits and decked-out weaponry. But then he gets to the fact that a ton of postal inspectors and SOD agents smuggle some of the drugs themselves or have a friend who wants to and they don't inspect their car when they come over. And it's one of those things were everyone knows why you didn't inspect the car but no one does anything. I just thought that was pretty damn crazy.

So I go pay the $10 fucking dollars it cost to get a transcript today and then look for a copier to make less expensive "unofficial" copies to give out. I wondered into the UGL and realized that I've never used a copy machine on campus before. You have to buy this copy card for a dollar and then load money on there. So I'm sitting there trying to work the damn machine to get my card and such, when finally an exchange student chick comes up to show me how to work it. You'd think after being here for 4 years I would have picked up this skill by now, but no, not me. I'm the person that after 4 years has never checked out a book, don't know how to check out a book and didn't even know that there were books past the first floor in the PCL. Who needs libraries anyway? I've got my Library downtown and that's all I need.

Poor Louisiana, another hurricane coming their way.

Did you know that Poison Ivy is NOT contagious after 2 days and a shower? It's the oil (poison oil that is) that makes you break out and it is absorbed after the first 2 days into your skin and doesn't come back out, even when scratching it. You can still get it from your dirty clothes though because the oil is still there until you wash it. Don't believe me? Read some sources here, here, here, here, here, and especially here.

As stated in a previous post, it is always best to operate in the golden zone, and I certainly was in that zone this past Friday. Throughout the night, I consumed a variety of beverages- Absinth, gin and tonic, Red Bull and vodka, Manhattan, and a little Makers on the rocks. And I even worked a Cuban cigar into the mix. I became everyone's best friend. I didn't go too crazy with the camera, but I did decide to get the Flash guy in some of the pics. He even let me take his fancy camera around and take some pics. For some reason, I even decided to go talk to the chaperones. And nothing beats a good pic where no one is looking. Too bad you can only barely see the people, who decided to go swimming, in the background.

For those of you interested in investing in startups, look into Brian and Alexis' School for Sensitivity Training and Deflowering. Business cards will be coming soon.