Old Posts - April 2002

	Tuesday Apr 30th 8:27pm by Brian -

I have been a bit busy, and so it has taken me a while to get up the pics from Mel's 21st on Friday. Good times were had. No cops showed up. Some Baylor chicks showed up. And even "that guy" made an appearance. Click here to check out the pics. You may see some name tags in the pics, but I assure you that they did not have anyone's real name written on them. I stole the idea from one of Janek's party. Nothing wrong with writing something funny on a piece of paper and attaching to a girl's ass...not that I did that or ever would. Since today is the last day of classes and Thomas' 21st b-day, I'd say I need to get off this computer. ikea singapore P.S. Yeah, back at the Roadhouse they got some bungalows And that's for the people Who like to go down slow

We got a new drunken story submission to add to the list. Click here to read a tale of small town High School mailbox smashing in a minivan. It really brings me back.

Well I think set a all time record today at the book store. I got $44 dollars for 1 book!!! I don't think I've gotten that much back in my past two years combined! I'm still in shock.

Now that Texas heat is starting to really kick in, you can pretty much cut the heat with a dull butter knife. I'm thinking it's time to get my A/C fix in my car. I realized this as I drove home from class and my legs felt like they were in an EZ-bake oven the entire trip. Well at least I'll be in Wisconsin in a few weeks. Don't know how warm it is up there, but considering its 1700 miles north it's got to be somewhat cooler.

Oh yea, and don't get the drag rats $. You're just encouraging the fuckers to stay!!! And the same goes for the corner hobos!

You know how we always talk about there being a "that guy" at a party. You know, that guy that was so drunk that he puked on your bed, tried to kiss your friend's little sister, and then tried to jump off your balcony and fucked up his ankle and needed two friends as crutches the rest of the night. Well I think along the same token there's the "that girl" of every party as well. While the criteria may be slightly different, the standards are still similar. I don't really know what kind of mischief the above pictured girl had gotten into earlier in the night, but just seeing her passed out on the grass next to a pot-a-potty automatically qualifies her for "that girl". Yes the people next to her were taking care of her (well not too much care as it would seem, but kept her being carried away while they waited for a ride to come get them, I think).

We also stumbled apon some kind of weird underground rave-type party at some co-op living on west campus. It would have been alright, except for they had some lame ass techno (and the fact that I don't roll).

Only one more week of class at UT can't wait.

I don't have time to post all the pics from Mel's 21st because I am currently working on a nice mix of Scotch and No Doz. In addition, I have to be up at 8am tomorrow with the hopes of heading to A-town by 9am. We'll see how that works out. Expect more upon my return.

Two weeks ago for my b-day my boss demonstrate that he was the best boss a guy could have. I showed up for work in the morning to see a trail of 24 Coronas and Shiners leading to my desk where I found a bottle of Korbel and PB&J. Seeing how these are the main items that I live off of, it was a great present. To top it off, I got to drink it while at work.

On to the main topic of the post, Austin Radio. I was originially just going to rant a mini-rant right here, but it got to long so I added it to the rants section. It discusses how Austin Radio sucks big time, good stuff. Click here to read it in full.

Got the pictures from the lake from Sunday up. Click here to see them. All I have to say is that there's a whole new world of partying on the lake that I've never experienced in Austin and it was great. Even the trip through miles of wilderness was exciting. I can't imagine driving through all of that just to get to school everyday though, that's a lot of time invested in driving. But at least it's fun, wilderness driving I guess.

Great pictures to look for it the 34-year-old woman going at it and still going at it in the background. I guess it's nice to know that you crawl up and die after 30, but sheesh. All in all, I hope to make some more visits with my friends before the semester is over.

If we weren't an authority on college partying before, we sure as hell are now. The Biological Sciences Curriculum Study(BSCS) would like to use two pictures from TamUt in their next curriculum entitled Understanding Alcohol: Investigations into Biology and Behavior. I think we have no choice but to provide them with the best examples of college partying possible. However, they only need two pics out of our collection of 2000+, and so I think it is only fair that the readers of TamUt.com help us find the perfect pics. A representative from the BSCS has outlined the criteria for the two photographs, and I have listed them below. We urge all of you to give us feedback on which pics should be used. All suggestions should be sent to suggestions@tamut.com, and we will announce the ones we are using once we get enough submissions. Good luck in finding the best pics we have to offer.

Picture Criteria

1. Picture of a large/tall man and a small woman to show the size and drink capacity difference.
2. Picture of a group of college-aged people drinking at a party.

Yea it was 10 days ago, but the pool party on my b-day last Saturday was rocking big-time. Even though the pictures do no justice to describe how much fun it was, you can click here to see them. Mostly we just got a lot of video.

As you can see in the picture above, someone colored the whole pool red the night before the party. So Melrose drained the whole thing and filled it with fire hoses during the party. It was great to run around in the half filled pool drunk.

Later Saturday night (last Sat. I mean) I went downtown with some of my friends and got my free shots. 21 shots to be more specific. My friends were great and made a list of all the shots that I took. Then I sign off on them . . . great stuff.

On a more up-to-date note, I went to the lake all day and evening yesterday and had a damn good time drinking on Sunday. Got some pictures from that, I'll post those tomorrow or Wednesday, done enough work for one day.

This weekend brought some pretty good times. After that test on Friday, I was in the mood to do some drinkin'. Oh, and drinkin' was done. Super Dave and Brendan needed to celebrate getting their rings, and Lindsey needed to celebrate her new piercing. And Alan needed to get drunk after receiving an MIP at the baseball game for mooning Baylor's team. I'll get his ticket scanned on here later because it is just too funny. Good times were had and my dominance of the game of 42 continued. I would have more pics, but my camera is still at a friend's house. I am just that lazy.

Ok, I think it is time for a new poll. Actually, it was time for a new poll sometime last week. The last poll showed that it is worse to run into the ex's roomie who you have messed around with also than into the ex. Of course, a good point was made that it is worse to run into the ex because you can still mess around her roomie.

And finally, Pete sent in this great quote from his friend "The Jew." Putting his real name next to his quote would just ruin his game further. It has also been added to the quotes page.

"I have no problem talking to strangers, its getting them to suck my dick that's the problem." - The Jew

I thought I had heard it all. Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. However, I was wrong. Evidently, Texas A&M and Baylor are not conservative enough accoring to majority whip Tom DeLay. I could see where a few crazy, Bible thumpin', ultra conservatives might think that A&M is not conservative enough for them, but A&M is plenty conservative to anyone else. Baylor, on the other hand, is so far to the right that they need a separate map to find the left. I don't know too many schools that kick you out for having pre-marital sex. He claims that there are some good Christian schools out there, but that they are smaller and not as prestigious. Well, that does make sense. Those prestigious universities tend to educate you with material that can be applied to the real world. I doubt MIT's upper level engineering courses pose the question, "What would Jesus do?" Of course, these accusations are coming from a man who blamed the Columbine on evolutionary teachings and whose daughter was just appalled to find out people have sex in A&M dormitories. It is appalling. Dorm beds are quite small; the university really should furnish beds with a surface area more adequate for the lovemaking. Oh well, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

P.S. I e-mailed DeLay's cousin, who was in my history class last semester. I'd like to see his reaction to those comments.

And in closing, when a professor of a circuits course for non-electrical engineering majors puts a question on her test that says, "Would you like to be a great electrical engineer?", the obvious answer is "It would be a nice backup in case my adult film career is not successful."

Well I have yet another set of pictures from Friday night's party. I put them at the end of the first page of pictures. Click here to see them. They are pretty much from the aftermath of the party. And ending the night off pretty early. Look for people grabbing sets of breasts...

And that does it for Friday night. Tomorrow I'll post the pictures I have from the pool party from Saturday.

We promised more pics, and we have delivered. My little bro had his cam on him, but he wasn't able to capture as much craziness since other people had his cam for most of the night. However, those other people did get some stunning shots of mirrors. Click here to check out his pics, mirrors excluded. Also, the girl on the far right is my bro's lady, and I figured she would appreciate her mark on the internet being made with her friends instead of with reputed gangsta C-Po.

Although his pics may not be as crazy, this video sure does make up for it. Some of you may have heard about the 6 or so tornadoes in A-town yesterday, and he got some video of one while driving home. Click here if you would like to see a tornado AND hear "fuck" be used as every part of speech...twice.

And finally, thanks again to Mel who mentioned us in a front page article in The Batt yesterday. It won't be long until I am used as an expert witness on drinkin' in a court of law.

Well our party on friday night I can officially say was the craziest fucking party I've ever thrown in my entire life. Got a shit load of pics (so I remember it) Click here to see the pictures. This is just the first round of pictures. There are two more pages that I'll be working on this week too. I do have a few hours of video from it, but don't got the connection to put it on computer yet.

There was so many damn good pictures that I had a hard time choosing one, so I'll at least link my 2nd favorite picture here. What best is that we had representation from UT, A&M, SWT, Trinity, Rice, TCU, SMU, UTA, TCC, and probably a few other schools. This is proof that Austin is the party central for the state of Texas (not to say in any way that no one else parties).

The party consisted of 4 kegs, 15 gallons of punch, and around 300 people I would guess. It was a party for Daphene's (crazy one with bottle in hand), Stas's, and Matt's birthdays that were all this week. Damn damn, good times. Word's, pictures, and even videos just can't describe it.

All I have to say, is if I broke my entire life into 24-hour sections that Saturday would absolutely be the best 24-hour section of my life. I remember bits and pieces of it all, but with 4 hours of video and 200 pictures I could say I have the weekend's festivities covered pretty well. I would post more pics now, but I'm doing good just moving at all today.

IT'S MY B-DAY AND I CAN GET DRUNK IF I WANT TO!!

This picture needs a little background to truly appreciate it. 4 weeks ago my roommate (who apparently found a movie called "I'm gonna get you sucka" at blockbuster and watched it last night) put in a maintenance request to get his tub fixed b/c it wasn't draining. The first time the maintenance worker came, they "fixed" the tub in my other roommate's room (room C). So he put in a second request to get his tub fixed. After a few days I get a letter in my room (room A) stating that they "fixed" my tub. Well I'm thinking it's pretty damn funny, my roommate is getting upset b/c his tube still isn't fixed. So a few days ago, he put in another request to get his tub fixed stating that "all the tubs have been fixed except the right one." You can see the resulting letter above. Somehow the room requested got changed to room A, my room, and apparently "tub" and "toilet" are synonymous in maintenance worker talk. By this time I'm just laughing my ass off and my roommate is pissed. So finally, after yet another request, this morning a guy comes and tries to fix my tub but I was there and directed him to the correct tub to fix.

I wonder what it's like to be a maintenance worker . . .

Ah . . . only one more day until the partying begins!

Like many college students, you are probably making your living arrangements for next year to ensure that you won't spend next semester as a drifter having to constantly translate hobo symbols. The hobo symbols above indicate a good place to hang out where religious talk will get you a free meal but with dangerous drinking water. Hmm, sounds like a familiar town. Finding an apartment can be a real pain in the ass, and it is usually not fun. I suggest being lazy and having one of the other roomies take care of the entire process(Thanks, Jen). Of course, once you have selected your place of future residence, that is when the real fun begins. Here are a few tips to make the leasing process more fun.

1. Approach someone in the leasing office and say, "We would like to procure lodging product." This is good for reminding the leasing person to beef up his/her vocabularly. After you have had enough of his/her blank stare, express your need for housing as monosyllabically as possible.
2. Say that you need housing from the fall of aught two 'til the spring of aught three. This helps to resurrect a word which few people use anymore.
3. Remember that you are going to pay them for living there, and there is no need to help them gather free marketing statistics. When a question on a form asks you where you heard about their apartment complex, feel obligated to spice up your answer. Acceptable responses are "Ad in n porn magazine," "Hooked up with a chick here once," or "Flier at the local Church of God." If you're going to use the last choice, it helps to have fake snake bites on the arm.
4. When they ask if you have any questions, come up with something they don't hear often. Ask if the ventilation is adequate so that the fumes in your meth lab won't make you sick. And when your lease says that sex in the hot tub is forbidden, you need to ask why they would do a thing like that.
5. And finally, when you see a stack of free koozies in the leasing office, remember to swipe a few.

Well actually Bacardi was the criminal, I could say I was an innocent by-stander. But I think the real criminals was all the beer and Whiskey on the rocks before Bacardi and I were introduced that evening. All this took place at a wedding (reception) on Saturday night in Flatonia. I put the pictures on the web mostly so my friends at the wedding could see them, but if you want to check them out as well click here to see them. At the top is also some pictures from my mom's 50th b-day. No need to check it out unless you have an exam tomorrow and are really streching for excuses not to study. One neat part of it was the ColossalGram that I sent her. 5 feet by 7 feet. Definitely a funny gift to send, you can check them out at ColossalGram.com.

I'm still working on the alcohol research. Here's part of Exhibit B.

You may remember the original pics from a Pub Crawl up in Canada. Well, it looks like some more pics from the same event were turned in, and so I added those to the page. The last 9 are new ones.

If you follow this site enough, you may remember this LCC girl Katie who sent in some stuff that was temporarily on the Dumbfuck page. We took off her stuff a long time ago, but she e-mailed us again recently. I think I responded to her quite well.

Hiiiiii.....it's me again, the old "dumbfuck #6". Um...i was wondering why i was removed but that is besides the point. I understand that you think badly of Tech BUT i didn't see where you ever acknowledged the fact that we beat you on our "High School" field, 12 to 0. Thats right, Aggies scored NOTHING. Anyways, this is a waste of my time defending my school which doesn't need to be defended. I don't understand how you show your pride in your school by making fun of mine. You have a lot of time on your hands if you can create a whole web page dedicated to "the common bond of alcohol and the fact that Texas Tech is not a real school". What did we ever do to make you hate us. Just have pride in your school and let us have ours. We are proud to be Red Raiders and your fucking idiotic web page that insists apon quoting Homer fucking Simpson will not bring our spirits down. FUCK YOU and your fucking over crowded schools with a drugged up longhorn and a spastic dog that i see no purpose in having. You are AGGIES...not COLLIES!!! At least the Longhorns have a longhorn and the Red Raiders have a masked rider....ask yourself how does that dog fit into the picture??? Something for you dipshits to think on!!! Love,
Katie
TTU Freshman

Katie,
We had to remove your e-mails from the Dumbfuck Page. All of the other dumbfucks complained that you were making them look bad. Sorry about that.

Brian

I believe she is the first girl whose stupidity is beyond that of the Dumbfucks page. Ok, it is time to head to A-town now.

The only reason for this post is to tell some A&M students what they need to do today. First, if you haven't voted in the run off elections, you need to vote for Jonathan Lusk for Junior Yell. He's good people, and I said I would throw him a little internet support on TamUt. Next, you need to register to vote in College Station. The mayor's office and a few city council seats will be open in early May, and we are working to get some A&M students into those positions. We need representation in the local government since this school is the only reason why this town has more than just one stoplight and a DQ. If you live in a dorm, check with your RA to get a registration card. Jamie Cruz, the mayoral candidate, passed out hundreds of cards to each RA. If you live off campus, give Jamie a call at 693-7843 for more information on getting a registration card. You just have to get the card filled out and postmaked by today. It is a simple task to help out with a great cause.

If you do both of these things above, then you deserve something fun to reward yourself. I suggest playing this game. It is pretty easy to shoot under par, but it is pretty hard to beat my bro's record score of 23.

Well I've done a lot of research and work on the "Nutritional Information of Alcoholic Beverages" paper and have gotten some great data. Though I'm not ready to publish my complete paper as of yet, I do have part of my Exhibit A completed. Take a look at it. Notice the key columns of "Calories (% alcohol)" vs. the common "Alcohol %volume". Basically to get less "empty" (in a drinkers term) calories from carbs that beer is notorious for, you would have a higher percentage calories from alcohol. You can also see how many "light" beers simply pull alcohol from their beers while other pull a notable amount of carbs. More findings to come ...

Well, Maryland prevailed in an exhilarating display of half-assery. I know everyone was hoping Indiana would win, but they had no chance from the start. Let me tell you why: their mascot is so much crappier than Maryland's. It's Terrapins (enormous, killer turtles) vs. Hoosiers (small french bath towels). You don't have to be Richard Grieco to figure out that enormous, killer turtles rip up small french bath towels at every opportunity.

I realize that no one really cares since the game was so crappy. I will give you all a good reason to be interested in the outcome, though. This afternoon, Betik and I placed a little bet on tonight's game. Loser had to be the winner's butler for the next year. So, I hope you can all join me in saying "Put on that frilly maid outfit and make me some grilled cheese, bitch."