Austin Radio Sucks

Let's talk about music, Austin music in particular. Now you'd think since Austin is the "Live Music Capital of the Universe" that Austin would have some rockin' radio stations. But, oh no, that's definitely not that case. I would have to say that Austin has the worst set of music stations of any MAJOR metropolitan area. Let's just take a look at our selection.

93.3: Yea, they used to have continuous music, but now they play just as many commercials as they do music. And the DJs, god the DJs suck. It sounds like they are in a contest with golf announcers about who can speak in the most mild, mind-numbing voice and put the most drivers to sleep and crash while driving on the way home from work in the afternoon.

93.7: In the mornings you got a dumbass guy that wishes he was Howard Stern and acts like he's some kind of a bad ass. But then when someone calls in upset about something he said, he tries to deny it like a fucking pussy, "no, that's not what I said. What I said was [insert bullshit here]." All the while I'm wishing for some music. When they do play music, it's usually limited to a scope of about 20 songs (no more than that) which include 10 Ozzie songs and bands that won an around in the last month (can you say Linkin Park, over and over and over)

94.7: When I first moved to Austin I was excited about this station because I thought it would be similar to DFW's 94.5. (I guess b/c it's close to the same frequency) Damn was I wrong. This station some how manages to find the most random, weird, stupid songs that no one has ever heard or wants to hear. And it's every third song that they play that crap. Maybe they are trying use Austin listeners as test dummies for playing new music since we're open to new stuff all the time?? Probably not because most of the random shit sound like 80's. All I know if that they just can't seem to develop a playlist that is any more entertaining than fly after it's been zapped by a bug light.

96.7: Can you say bitch (aka women) station? The station was obviously developed with "100% bitch music 100% of the time" as the mission statement. They play more sappy R&B and alternative than any station I know. I can just hear one of the directors talking, "oh oh, Nsync just got an award, let's lay it 25 times a day instead of 18! But that means we can only play Brittany Spears 28 times a day . . . oooohhh what are we going to do?! Wait, what's this? We play Ludicrous one time at 4am, let's pull that out!" And another thing, I think if I hear 'Tony Fly' say, "this is the new 96.7 96.7 96.7 96.7 kiss FM" one more time, I'll shoot someone. (yes, he really says it exactly like that)

101.5: 101 "x" is the closest thing we have to a decent station. They play some pretty good hard rock, but always dominated by "Default" and "Stained". And is it so hard to play MUSIC in the morning? Why can't they just shut up and play music?!

104.3: Clear Channel Station sellout. I think that they should be required to add the word "sellout" after every Clear Channel franchisee. Especially rap stations. I mean they mute out words like "pussy" and "smoke out". Jesus, you can hardly hear the song sometimes. That's if they even play the song. Most the time they just don't play the good rap. They stick to the slow love-type songs that complete with the 93.3 DJs on the sleep factor in the car. Then the "Fat 5 at 5", yea, still the same boring songs. It's like they've created a station for just black women, what is everyone else supposed to listen to? Then you got that horrible announcer who swings his voice on every other sylable. You know that I'm talking about? "The beat 104.3..." It reminds me of my old computer science teacher from HS *trying* to talk in a non-monotone voice after we explained to her that she has used no voice inflection the entire year. It drives me nuts. I remember when they first started using him and though, "man this guy will be gone quick." No such luck. And then you got the 2 morning DJs, which consists of a married guy with 2 children and a woman that talks like she a kindergarten teacher. Actually, they both talk like kindergarten teachers. "Ah, wow! That so neato! I'm so excited about that particulate item that you just mentioned." I think this has to do with the Clear Channel sellout shit. It's a rap station, you need to get some thugs on the mic to make it work.

88.7:This is a station that not many people know about b/c they only play good music after midnight on weekdays and 10pm on weekends. The rest of the time they have all sorts of weird broadcasting. But what are we supposed to listen to during the day?

Yeah, so basically we have jack shit to listen to on the radio in Austin and we're forced to burn CD's of music and wait for X-band radio to become more popular. And I'm spent.


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