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Old Posts - December 2000

Old Posts - December 2000

Saturday Dec 30th 11:20am by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

Sweet, Sweet Candy

Some Chick and Kristen

Talking to random people on IM from work does have its advantages. I started talking to this random UT chick who ended up having a similar love for party pics. In the pic above, she is on the right. She also had a bunch of other cool party pics. The best of her party pics are the last ten pics on this page. Enjoy.

Note: Matt and I are not trying to convert into a showplace for lesbian action, but we sure don't get any complaints about the pictures.

In response to Matt's comment, I don't expect a great showing from A&M. Big 12 South teams are 1-11 overall in bowl games since the conference was formed. As Cody Wayne Maxwell Powell says, "If you want to see a blowout, just put a Texas team in a bowl game." Maybe A&M can finally break that trend and reclaim some dignity from our past bowl experience at last year's Alamo Bowl.

Saturday Dec 30th 2:00am by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Yes, a great disappointment it was to see 3 balls just fly through their hands. But we'll see how unranked A&M does against unranked Mississippi State.

Friday Dec 29th 11:45pm by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

Texas 30, Oregon 35

Chris Simms returned to previous playing form as 12th ranked Texas lost to 11th ranked Oregon in the Holiday Bowl. Texas had several opportunities to win, but their highly acclaimed freshmen receivers failed to catch a string of easy passes. B.J. Johnson dropped two TDs and Roy Williams dropped another on the same series during a crucial drive to tie the game. Texas did get the ball back after an Oregon fumble, but Chris Simms responded by throwing his 4th interception of the game. For a more in depth look at the game by actual sports writers, check out

Friday Dec 29th 12:30pm by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt
Drunk Dave

Well like the past 3 nights in a row, I had another little gathering at my place. Except this time we decided we're not just going to drink casual. We wanted to drink our asses off. So while we played dominos, the loser of each mark (round) had to drink a cup of not-so-cold Keystone Light. Normally you wouldn't consider drinking a penalty, but that shit is just nasty. We then moved on to a couple rounds a asshole until Brian's Mom told him he had to go home. Haha, I still can't beleive his mom makes him do stuff. So what if he had work at 8am today, if you drink late enough, you will wake up drunk, not hungover.

I'm still trying to find the perfect plans for New Years. If anyone knows the perfect plans, let know.

Thursday Dec 28th 12:35am by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

Salute to Deep Freeze

Gold Record for Reinventing the Steel

Matt and I have a friend, Pete, who has just about the coolest dad in the world. Above is a picture of a gold record for Reinventing the Steel that Pantera presented to Pete's dad, David. I guess it really does pay to be Dimebag Darrell's real estate agent. Pete sent in some more pics of the gold record and of the autographed poster which accompanied the record. I put them all on this page. Also, this convenient connection means that we will probably be chilling backstage with Pantera during their upcoming concert in Houston. Score.

Tuesday Dec 26th 8:30pm by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Gathering/party at Matt's place tonight. Call muy-sexy if you want to get in on the action.

Tuesday Dec 26th 11:05am by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

New Poll

The results of the previous poll have been tabulated, and the results show that the broken bottle and the pool cue are equally effective in a bar fight. Both received 66 votes. Since that is the second consecutive poll with close results, I figured the next poll should be an absolute and complete landslide. Vote early and vote often.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Time to get back to work of some sort.

Monday Dec 25th 12:45am by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

Merry Christmas

Well, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas. I am sorry if the Homerism isn't that great, but I needed one that was somewhat applicable to Christmas. If I find a better one, I can always change it. Also, today is the last day to vote in the current pole. I will bust out a new one at midnight tomorrow.

Saturday Dec 23rd 6:50pm by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Two Night Kegger

The Stairs Group

Click here to check out the new pics page

Richardson is where I've been for the past two days. It's amazing how quick you get to know people when you party with them. Out of all these people, I knew 1 person prior to our parties here. But damn we had a good time. Tonight I decided to come home and let my family know that I'm still alive. I'm sure I'll still get to a party somehow, just a little late. I wanted to keep you readers entertained with more great party pics in case you don't have anything else to do over the break.

I just haven't had all the free time that I expected to have with no work and school. Partying and drinking every night really keeps you pretty busy. Oh well, it's all good because I'm having a damn good time! later.

Friday Dec 22nd 3:17pm by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Well once again I don't have time to post all the bad-ass pics from last night. So once again I will just be a lazy bastard and post them in the huge, unedited format. Click Here to go see the pics. Remember that these pics are 300k each, so they'll take a while to load. I'll fix 'em later.

Thursday Dec 21st 2:40pm by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

Today was my first day back to work, and I figured the most productive thing I could do was to post from work. Not too much to say now, but Matt and I do need to coordinate some sort of shindig for this evening. Thursday night is party night in every college town, and so why should we treat it any differently back home? E-mail me if you have any suggestions on a kick ass place to party this evening.

Wednesday Dec 20th 6:47pm by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

The crew is heading to Hooters in North A-town to watch the stars game.

Wednesday Dec 20th 2:55pm by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

Ah, yeah

Dana and Kristen

Well, I got my cable modem installed today, and so I could actually do some kind of site work today. I compressed the rest of the pics from Sunday night into a smaller size and put them on this page. I didn't screw with editing the pics too much since I am using a really ghetto monitor, and so some pics may look a little dark.

The party tonight is at Hooter's in A-town.

Tuesday Dec 19th 12:05am by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

A Hell of a Night

Dana and Brian

This is just one of the pics from our amazing night at Hooligan's in A-town. The remaining pics shall be compressed and put onto their own page when time permits. I shall do some work on getting the Homerisms updated. Also, the party tomorrow night is at Bobby V's in A-town. Team Heiney shall return to its former glory of the summer time.

Monday Dec 18th 9:47am by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Party is at The Flying Saucer in North A-town tonight.

Monday Dec 18th 4:47am by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Well we had one hell of a time tonight. We drank a whole hell of a lot and talked to a whole hell of a bunch of people. Oh yea, and we split 6 pitchers of beer, which was before our drinks at home. As of right now I just posted the directory with the pictures in original format. Which means they are in 1792x1280 format. I'll resize and fix 'em tomorrow. Yes Brian, I wasn't a dumb piece of shit and left the cord in Austin, I found it. And no Julie, you better not get pissed for me posing for these pictures.

Check them out

Saturday Dec 16th 8:05pm by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Well I'm heading back to A-town to rejoin the group. Between no work and no school, I'll either go insane or have a whole lot of fun partying. is now officially the A-town party site for the next 3 weeks!

Saturday Dec 16th 2:05pm by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Julie's nice hat Well I should say I had a fun last night in Austin. First I took Julie (pictured at left) out to Papasitos for her birthday. Well it turned out that my friend Marissa was working that night. So luckily for us she hooked us up with frozen margaritas all night long. They were made just right too. Right on! So then Julie and I met my roommate and his friend at our place, we got our drink on for a little while then we headed for 6th street. We ended up at "The Loft." I've never even heard of the place before, but it turned out pretty good. They played some great dance music. I would have pictures except that I didn't feel like bringing a camera into the club. It'd just be weird. Too bad though, I could have had some great incriminating pictures of my drunk-ass roommate. Haha. You lucked out Dave.

Well now that I've caught up on sleep this morning (at work) I'm about to get off from work, pack my shit up and go home. It looks like most people have gone home already. As the Typing Monkey has mentioned before, since we will be in Arlinton, we will attempt to turn it into some sort of party town. We've done it before, and damnit we'll do it again. What we lack in material will be made up for in site upgrades. We will be putting up a complete new layout, new message board structure, and many other various things. I am personally excited about the new layout... oooo, I love how it looks. I'll put a prototype for you see and give me feed back on in a week or so.

Friday Dec 15th 2:30pm by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

I'm not quite sure how I repaired my truck, but I ghetto rigged it somehow. Now, I can finally load my shit up and get to A-town. To the group: I am ready for a little drinking/poker tonight. It may be a little cold for the bench, and so let's go with my place around 8 or 9. I hope everyone has a safe drive home.

Friday Dec 15th 5:55am by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Well Jess, Petus, his roommate, and I were chilling at Taco C tonight/this morning getting our grub on when Jess added to her already great list of quotes.

"She's got big jumblies, you might like her."
-Jess Jones

Don't ask, it's a long story. Well maybe not, just another great Jess quote. Go check out all the other great drunken or not so drunken quotes at the Quotes Page.

Friday Dec 15th 1:55am by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

As is tradition, I again did not leave College Station when I expected to. Of course, staying an extra night isn't always bad. Jess and Linsey brought me a whole batch of Ingrid Balls, the best dessert known to man. Accompanying Jess and Linsey were the always lovely Erin, CK(Chronic Kneeler) for short and Kate. I was impressed since Kate was the first woman to actually answer my mandatory trivia question. There is a black and white poster above my fireplace with Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, and Jim Morrison. Above their faces is the lyric "We All Shine On." Whenever I point the poster out, I always ask where that lyric comes from. To my surprise, she knew the answer. And she was also pretty damn cute, and that is always a bonus. Also, she had seen our site before and was surprised to find out that I was one of the webmasters(the name Typing Monkey just doesn't work the wonders with the ladies). The word about TamUt is spreading like Laurie's four forms of the clap(two of which were discovered in her). Time to sleep now...possibly.

Also, props to my little bro, Paul, for contributing tonight's homerism.

Thursday Dec 14th 4:20pm by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

Ah, it's nice to know that our site is providing humor and entertainment for people during exam times. It's also cool to know that more and more people are finding about In fact, a couple girls whom I graduated with stumbled upon the site. The irony is that most of the Martin graduates ended up at LCC...ah, so sad.

I have changed my e-mail addy from to However, if you send something to suggestions, it will automatically forward to TypingMonkey. I wouldn't want to lose any pics, party stories, or hate mail from those LCC bastards. There is nothing funnier than a poorly written, profanity laden, fallacy filled, grammatically atrocious, laughable attempt at rational thought in e-mail form.

Time to pack my shit and head to A-town, where I will reunite with the other members of Team Heiney and slaughter all challengers in trivia at Bobby V's.

Thursday Dec 14th 1:30pm by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

The Cowboy from Hell Wins

In a heated race, Dimebag Darrell edged Willie Nelson, 131-123. I would have posted the results earlier, but the poll people had it all fucked up. Well, the new poll is up and working. I figured it was time for the readers to solve the age old question that has plagued mankind for centuries- what is the most useful weapon in a bar fight? Instead of experimentally discovering the answer while accruing countless assault charges, I figured this poll was a good alternative.

Thursday Dec 14th 12:55pm by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

Sorry for the delay in my post. I have been trying to get the new poll working. I am taking off the poll for now since our poll people's servers are all screwed up. Once those are working again, I will put the poll back on and publish the results of the last poll.

Wednesday Dec 13th 3:40pm by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

I have returned to the homepage now that finals were over. Staying up for 50 hours straight is good for your body and don't let some quack doctor tell you otherwise. Today shall be the last day to vote in the current poll. Currently, it is about dead even between Dime and Willie. I will replace the poll tonight and announce the results.

Matt changed the font size for the site today. If you are having a severe problem reading the new text, then e-mail him at

Wednesday Dec 13th 12:41am by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Reasons Detroit Closes Schools


Reasons Texas Closes Schools


If you haven't heard UT closed all of campus today due to "inclement" weather. What the fuck, why don't they just say "icy weather"? Or better yet, "Since Texans cannot handle the concept of driving while temperatures are close to freezing, we closed school so that those dumbasses don't wreck their cars." I think that would be much more accurate. It's true. Two years ago (the last time Texas saw what Northerners call "snow flakes") there were over 200 accidents within a mile of the UT campus. I just think it's funny. Now being a almost native to Texas I'm not saying I'm master of the ice. But I think I can handle driving to school. Actually I think I'll take my car out for a spin just for the hell of it. I love doing donuts, and ice just helps save your tire tread. Yes, I will do that.

Note: if I wreck my car, this post is coming down.

Tuesday Dec 12th 12:11am by Matt - E-mail Matt IM Matt

Just kidding about studying. I'll start tomorrow. I got back from working out with some friends and ended up showing them the site. We spent more than an hour just looking at all the pics, rants and drunken stories. Shit, I make the site and have already forgotten how much cool shit we have on here.

Jared on the Message Board brought up a good point. People are always looking for anything to distract them from studying for finals. Well I know I do. is the perfect answer. Between the 150 jokes , picture galleries, rants , Homerisms , friend's quotes ,and drunken stories there is defintely hours of entertainment to keep you from studying. So keep on reading and screw the tests!

Monday Dec 11th 10:50pm by Brian - E-mail Brian IM Brian

Party at The Bar

I am sure everyone will be in need of an escape on Wednesday night after finals end. In that