Old Posts - May 2002

	Friday May 31st 2:43am by Matt -

Well I started my first leg of my 3 part road trip to Wisconsin yesterday. It being the shortest leg (Austin to Arlington), I figured it'd be uneventful. But no no no, I figured wrong. So I'm cruising along about 10 miles North of Waco at about 90-95 when out of nowhere my passenger window EXPLOPES. I shit you not. It just completely shatters. The first thing I'm thinking is that it's been shot out, so I quickly check my body for bullet wounds. I find none and clear my first fear. So the next thing I think is someone threw something at it. There was only 2 Semi's in the right lane, one about 1.5 car lengths ahead and one a half car length behind. I know that there's now way the guy behind me could have thrown something forward on the highway. So I look back to see if he's got a pellet gun or something. Nothing, he's just driving with his window up. So I think maybe someone shot it out from the side of the road, but I'm on the middle of nowhere between Waco and Hillsboro. The only thought I can come up with is a rock somehow flew sideways at my car from the truck ahead and to the right and hit my car. But that's hard to believe could happen if I'm going 90. My conclusion then is that it was divine intervention. God thought I hadn't had enough excitement or too much extra cash around or just want to give me something to write about. fotos sexys ville valo Well it's now 3:00pm and I have to leave for a 9-hour drive to Kansas City in 4 hours, leaving me with about 3 and a half hours a sleep time. I shall be Caffeine’s bitch the next two days.

While I haven't been posting any exciting adventures recently, that certainly doesn't mean exciting adventures haven't been taking place. Just means I've been lazy (lazy Lazy LAZY as some would say). Well about two weeks ago the above pictured group and I decided we'd take off work early and go to the river on a Tuesday. We went to the Comal river instead of the Guadalupe b/c 67 degree water just sounds too cold for now. You can click hereclick here to see the pictures from the river. Not too much craziness there since I didn't think taking my digital camera on the river a real smooth idea. But you can see the really, really drunk girl.

But I ain't done yet.

A couple of days ago we went to the lake for a little Memorial Day partying. Let me tell you, that nothing beats sitting in a float just drinking and being lazy. Though I'm told this really wasn't that big of a crowd for a Memorial Day party at the cove, it sure seemed fun enough for me. Click here to see the pictures.

To hit some random topics. Did you know that the Chicago airport has some crazy lights in their underground connection between terminals. I just thought it was cool.

Oh yea, we also went bowling the other day. Man do I kick ass in bowling. It takes a real champ to shoot way under par the way I did. How many people can say they shot a 62? Only the real champs, that's who.

If you have followed the site for a while, then you may remember my practice of birthday IM's- my posting of AIM links on TamUt on people's birthdays. Basically, it was just a nice gesture to some of my friends because nothing says "Happy Birthday" like getting a bunch of IM's from random people. Also, it was better content than posting about that penny I found or the day I won a free case of motor oil. I haven't done one in a while, but since it is my bro's 19th birthday, the most worthless of all b-days, I figure he will want a bunch of IM's from random people. So, click here to IM the little bastard. Of course, this won't be his only gift; I'm also sending a classy harlot his way. Let's hope she is of virtue true and venereal disease negatory. If so, it will be the best $1.50 I ever spent.

Today shall be quite devilish considering that TamUt.com has now been running for 666 days. How have we managed to last this long? I'd say the magic recipe is alcohol, digital cameras, prison-quality crystal meth, stupid LCC students with e-mail access, and a little help from JohnnyCash.

Since the last poll was up for many fortnights, I figured it was time for a change. According to these results, slightly more guys would kiss a male friend to see two really hot chicks makeout in their underwear. That's a tough call, and we figured it would be close. I am sure a few more people would've voted "Yes" if they knew how hot the chicks that this poll was made about are. The new poll is a pretty standard one. After about a week of this one, I'll make sure and come up with something a little more clever and possibly including a double entendre.

By the way, the pic above is from my last party night in CS. We had a decent amount of people over considering most people had left town. As John Lee Hooker would've wanted, I got to drink one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. And as always, a token freshman had to show up. I would've had these pics up a lot sooner, but I forgot my dig cam in CS. Props to Sexual Chocolate for bringing my cam back.

And finally since I haven't posted in a while, I never got to say congratulations to Jess in internet form for graduating from UT last Friday.

In the summer time you probably have plenty of free time to just nothing. If you happen to be flying somewhere and feel like having some fun, here's some thoughts I had while I flew to Wisconsin last week.

• For you one carry-on bag get as big as bag as they'll let you have and fill it with progressively smaller bags. Towards the middle have 20-30 little bags with zippers and put little notes in each one in really big font so they could see if even if they weren't trying to read it like "YOU SUCK" or "NINJA!". Security is required to open everthing zipper of every bag in your carry-on so if those 20-30 little bags have 3 zippers you're in for a real good time. This will make the security people start questioning you about were you are going and might even pull you into a security room for an interigation.
  
  
• If you are at one of those nice airport with the "walkalators", they'll usually have 3 or 4 in a row. Fall down when you try to get off of each one and act like you're real embarrased.
  
  
• Buy a cell phone that runs on AA batteries and just watch as the people laugh at you.
  
  
• Take a picture of the army guy with a machine gun standing at the security check point. I think they like that.

Well I finally got off my lazy ass and shampooed my carpet yesterday (and posted too!). And let me tell you that the picture to the left does no justice in describing the change of color in my carpet. I really can't believe I've been walking on it for a month now. But when you cram 300-400 people in and out of an apartment during a party, it's as much as can be expected.

You should pretty much realize by now that we won't be posting much this summer, but I think we are going to at least keep the site up though instead of being really lazy and passing out the whole time. I'll be posting live from Appleton, Wisconsin starting next week and all summer. So you'll get to hear what north life is like. I'll also be doing misc. upgrades and code changes to the site. Hell maybe even a little layout change. Just depends on what I feel like doing.

For those of you that are still looking for a career/degree plan to choose, check out The Next Hot Jobs. I think I'll be a Home-Care Nurse.

No it's not my apartment but one pretty damn close to mine. I was walking into my place from my car when I hear some pretty wild screaming coming from the next building over. I walked a little closer and found a drunk guy on a rampage on the back porch of someone's apartment. First he just smashed a lawn chair on the ground. Then he takes the second lawn chair and beats the window in with it. All the while he's screaming how he hates some guy named Josh. First I'm thinking it's a gay couple gone sour. But it turns out Josh is just the new boyfriend of the girl (i assume drunk guy's ex). Well the guy crawls in the shattered window, cutting his hands to all hell in the process. Then a few minutes later he came running out the front door all bloody as hell. Apparently the new b/f was in there and beat the shit out of him when he crawled in the window. And left a little blood scattered around as he ran out. So when the drunk guy takes off in his car he hit a parked car and sped off like a maniac. Luckily I have my trusty camera on me.

Ok, I know it has been a week since I last posted, but I have got some things accomplished. I shall put them in list form:

1. I finished my final examinations at Texas A&M University.
2. I moved my stuff from CS to A-town.
3. I finally organized my Simpsons collection and downloaded any episodes I didn't have. I now have all of the episodes on my computer. Be jealous, be very jealous.
4. I got a small role in a Broadway musical. It's not much, but it's a start.

I also got some post-finals partying done, but the pictures from that will be up later. I forgot my dig cam in CS, but it will be delivered via Jen Express this weekend. By the way, the picture above is from Kristin's 21st. Unfortunately, that is the only pic I got from that night. I had a lot of th(dr)inking to do that night. I am just glad that I finally snapped a good shot of someone spitting fire. And speaking of spitting fire, Sarah sent in this pic of her boyfriend blowing fire.

And finally, jeers to the people at Aggieland Tattoo who decided to change their sign. For a while, their sign said "Yoda says I'd pimp my sister for a tattoo." When I finally got up there with a camera to take a picture of it, I discover they have changed it to "Hullaballoo Tattoo Tattoo." I still think the first one is a lot funnier, but I guess George Lucas' lawyers got on their ass.

Got an interesting e-mail that i figured i could share

Hello there,

This is the author of Rant against Rants. My name is Shea Trantham and boy howdy is my girlfriend Martha May pissed at me. The rant came out of her hotmail account but she is certainly not the author. I am. I'm also the author of My Drunk Story (the one about kidnap to Hondo, Texas). So, if you could kindly change the name Martha May to Shea Trantham at the end of the rant against rants, I would be ever so pleased and maybe then my girlfriend will give me back my balls.

Thank you and good day,
Shea Trantham

My response:

Well boy howdy, tell her to give your balls back, it's changed.

- Webmaster

How about we spice things up a little with a FONT CHANGE!

Yes, I too can avoid studying for finals.

On our continual quest to give you reasons not to study, I present to you a Rant against Rants. Submitted, ironically enough, by another student trying not to study. One word of advice to future ranters: at least proof read your rant once so that you use correct grammar (you're vs. your) and spellign.

Note: This doesn't mean that we webmasters need to proof read our posts. We're just too lazy to do all that, so don't waste your time pointing that out (like spellign)

Since I have been busy with finals, I have had little time to post. However, I feel I must provide the readers with interesting material to distract them from studying. And if you are a man, I have just the interesting material for you. A couple of weeks ago, Princess Erin and some friends decided to have a girls night in. Although they were sober, it turned into a night of taking pictures of either in their "lesbian hooker bikini" attire. Although none of the other girls would consent to having their pics on the internet, Princess Erin was nice enough to send me the pic above, and this one. Of course, I got to see them all. Cha ching.

I finally changed the poll. It comes from a story, and I shall assign smooth aliases to each person to make the storytelling easier.

CK:	my friend
Chesty LaRue:	my friend's roomie
Dirk Diggler:	my friend's roomie's boyfriend
Ron Jeremy:	my friend's roomie's boyfriend's friend

After some drinks, Dirk wants Chesty and CK to kiss, but they are unwilling. However, CK and Chesty agree to make out in their underwear if Dirk and Ron will kiss once. Dirk and Ron refuse, and CK and Chesty don't make out in their underwear. After hearing this, I felt obligated to make a poll to find out what the masses would have done. Keep in mind that Ron and Dirk are good friends, and that CK and Chesty are very, very, very hot.

Well this weekend was the little break I need to get me through my papers and projects due this week. The Maui party was badass. I forgot to bring my camera in so I didn't get any pictures. Besides, the camera just doesn't fit in with a straw skirt.

To keep up the cycle of keeping students from studying, I put up a new rant to the rants section. Click here to read all about Chinese buffets and chopsticks.

Oh, and if anyone needs to sublease an apartment in Austin for any period of time, my room will be available for cheap (I really don't want to pay rent for 2 apartments all summer). E-mail me for details

If you are a registered voter in CS, vote for Jaime Cruz for Mayor and T.J. Flowers for City Council position 4. If you need any more info, check out AgForMayor.com. We need student representation in our local government.

Yea, today was finally the last day of classes at UT. And it's time to do a little partying to make up for it. Gonna start drinking right now and find some tiki hats and hit the Maui party tonight... oh yea!

It seems like this last week has just been a string of 21st b-days, and tonight will be no different as we take the entourage to Houston for Kristin's 21st. The pic above is from Thomas' 21st. Good times were had despite the fact some guys wanted to rumble over some of my drunken comments. On that note, if anyone knows this girl, feel free to apologize to her on my behalf. Anyways, drunk on a Tuesday before a dead day is always fun, especially when you and your roomie again get to assert your dominance of 42 over the opposition. And when the b-day guy passes out, it is always a good idea to stack bottles on him and take pictures. The rest of the pictures can be found here.

P.S. Someone tell Marc that there isn't a girl here.