Drunk Stories

Naked Cop Chase

It was the Easter weekend of my junior year in high school and I had just gotten back from a soccer game with my then girlfriend. I decided to go out with my friends that night...little did I know it would turn into one of the most hilarious and crazy nights I have ever experienced. We proceeded to get extremely sloshed at my house drinking a 1.75 bottle of vodka between 3 people. About an hour later we end up at our high school with the crazy idea of climbing onto the 3 story high school roof, crawling through an air vent, and dropping 2 stories into the deep end of the school pool. I was the first to go and since I didn't want my clothes to get wet I stripped down naked and crawled into the air vent...we have bright ideas when we've been drinking don't we? I had luckily taken my sandals with me the...just so I would have something to walk in when I got out of the pool, because when I had jumped into pool my two friends on the roof start yelling "cops!!!!". It turns out that I had set off the silent alarm in the school...leading for three cops to show up with lights flashing. My friends take off running over the roof to get away, taking my clothes with them and leaving me stranded in the pool with only my sandals to cover myself. I swim to the side and start to run to the door to get out of there when I slip, fall, and knock myself out. I don't know how long I was knocked out but when I come to I am bleeding from a huge gash on the back of my head lying naked beside the pool. I go out into the school and see two cops coming with flashlights looking for me. One of them catches me in the light and I swear I heard him mutter something about damn kids!! I take off running with the two cops chasing me in the school and finally out into the portable buildings near the school. I eventually make my way into the woods, choosing, don't ask me how, the most thorn and mosquito infested area possible. The sober cops decide sensibly not to follow me in there so I am sitting there stranded with only sandals to keep the bugs away while the cops go back into the parking lot and talk to some of my other friends who are just as drunk as we are but who are mud sliding on the football field. One of my good friends has to end up doing all of the talking even though he is the most messed up out of the group. He is so drunk that he can't even walk to the car after the cops leave but somehow he manages to talk his way out of the situation. I come out of the woods covering myself with my sandals and ask for some clothes since my friends on the roof had all of my clothes and they had taken off through peoples yards after they jumped a story down off of the roof onto concrete to get away from the cops. My friends tell me that the cops are coming back so they are leaving...bastards...so I am left stranded at the high school with a pair of sandals, extremely intoxicated, and blood coming from the thorn cuts and the gash on my head. I end up going up to some random guy and asking him for a shirt, luckily he was nice about it, and then going into some guys car and stealing a pair of shorts. My friends come back for me about an hour later and I get all my clothes back from my other friends the next day. My parents cracked up when I told them the story and I was somewhat of a hero the monday following the weekend. Sorry this is so long but it all had to be told. I have plenty more stories which I'll share at a later time.

Will Henderson

Back to Drunken Stories Home Page