Drunk in Austin
There's a certain club that we can join if we try hard enough, and
consume enough mind-altering beverages. This club is an elite group of
people, marked by their like .... but perhaps I'm getting ahead of
myself. Some pre-drunken setup is in order.
I'm a huge Sister 7 fan, and on this given thursday night, I couldn't
find anyone to go to the show with me. Screw it, I said, I'm going
anyways. I arrive at the club (Mercury, above Jazz, in Austin) a little
early. What to do? I, of course, start drinking. Captain Morgan and
coke, in the requisite little plastic bitch-glass. Best $4 I've ever
spent. Another one of those quickly followed the first, and I figured
that since I still had about 45 minutes to showtime, that kind of pace
was better suited to beer (since I did want to walk out of the club on
my own power). Four negra modelo's later, Patrice Pike and the rest of
the band took the stage, and we proceeded to rock the show.
Remember my comment just a minute ago about wanting to walk out of the
club under my own power? I did that, but I sure as hell don't remember
it. I didn't THINK that I had had all that much to drink (I've sure as
hell had a LOT more), but apparently my system did not like the Captain
meeting Mr. Modelo. I do not remember paying my tab (but I had my credit
card back), I do not remember the end of the show, I do not remember
leaving the club. What I do remember is trying to figure out 1. where my
car was, and 2. how the HELL to get home, cause I sure as hell couldn't
drive. These questions weighed heavily on my mind, and I decided to sit
down for a second. Big mistake.
The next thing I know, I'm being shaken by a large, dark blue object,
behind which are several large, brightly flashing red-and-blue objects,
out of which are getting several other large, dark blue objects. Son?
Son? What are you doing here? Mistake number one - I answered, "waiting
for some friends to come get me."
The officer(s) laughed out loud at my drunk ass. "Son, I don't think
your friends are coming." After a frisk-search, and some requiste
questions about what the hell I was doing sleeping on the sidewalk, I
was told that I was being taken to jail, because I was a danger to
myself and to others (of course, my first thought was "danger?" I'm just
trying to get my sleep on, but I didn't say anything). So, I spent the
hours of 3:30 AM to Noon in the state holding facility in Austin, TX
(that's the big brown building at 8th and I35). Sucked ass. But it get's
See, I didn't notice where I was passed out, but my citation (PI) said
"1000 block of colorado". I'm not sure how familiar everyone is with
Austin, but the 1000 block of Colorado is also the 1000 block of
Congress. (get it yet?). As in, the first block away from the Capitol?
(get it yet?). As in, the location of the residence of our esteemed
govenor? The Govenor's mansion? Big-ass white building? Yeah, I was
sleeping against the outer wall of the governor's mansion. Friends of
mine said that I shoudl have told the cop I was just trying to crash
So there ya go ... I'm a convicted felon. Actually, a convicted
misdemeanorist (is that a word?). It's not on my record, as I spent four
months on deferred adjudication. But it happened just that way. Moral of
the story, kids, is don't drink alone. But the show was great.