well here goes, a few weeks ago I had a bottle of fireball and I find it
easy to drink, so I downed it in the big chugs, which I then proceeded to
have drunken fun. The next day I was talking with my friends when one of
them mentioned that I should do it in one chug. Me being the pushover that I
am said "hell ya, that'd be sweet". So just the other day I had purchased
another bottle of fireball and then proceeded to a year end party my friend
was throwing. As soon as I had mentioned the feat I was about to attempt
everyone gathered around. The pressure was on, I wasn't sure if I could do
it or not but I'd sure as hell try. so bottoms up I went and downed 'er all
in one chug, which was followed by several cheers and gasps.
Little did I
know I was being video taped. I then headed to the bathroom to make sure I
wouldn't puke up my liver and sat in there for about 10 minutes. At this
point I was feeling alright, I was buzzing but capable of coherent thought
and speech. I then proceeded out of the bathroom and into the pool room
where I was greeted with many cheers for downing a 26oz in one go. after
everyone quieted down a bit I then pulled six cents that I'm not sure how
ended up in my pocket, and asked if anyone could find my a six cent whore. A
few people giggled and others thought I was sick, but I thought it was funny
and so did my good friends that were there.
I then went outside to fetch the
bottle which I had dropped. Once I had picked up the bottle I stood up and
turned around to be face-to-face with the other end of a camera. It startled
me a little but once I knew what it was I thought it was a great idea. We
then got a shot of me holding the bottle and an opening monologue. 20
minutes had passed by now and I was feeling good, real good. I then
proceeded inside where I found an old friend which i had not seen in
sometime, I sat down to talk to him and was butted by the blunt end of a
pool cue directly below my eye socket. I diden't feel it but I knew it
should hurt so I acted a little just to make sure I knew I was hit. 30
minutes had passed since I had downed the bottle and I was gone. I don't
remember a thing from then on, but my luckily my friends got me on tape.
After the pool cue incident, I began talking to a good friend of mine. By
now I didn't really know aht i was doing, and I knocked his beer in his lap,
he got a little upset at this and while I was trying to explain it to
someone else he sneaked in a spill on my lap with the remaining beer he had.
I, being absolutely pissed drunk, didn't notice. By now I had lost interest
in talking with my friend and proceeded to some girls that I knew, obviously
to try my hand at love, unsuccessful I might add. I started talking to her
but then realized that I would in know way be able to carry on a
conversation because her breasts were too large, which of course I told her.
She was mighty impressed and left.
I then proceeded upstairs to tell my life
story for some reason, not sure why really. I listed off my best friends and
that they were awesome. I then pushed the man following me around with the
camera into a dark room where I began to tell him that his girlfriend was
the hottest thing I've ever seen, which I don't really believe, and then
stumbled over a planter. I got a little aggrivated and took the camera from
my friend and headed downstairs again. too bad I didn't make it all the way
and fell half-way down. it's funny to watch on film. my friends decided I
had had enough drunken fun for this eve and tried to take me home. I was
carried out by two guys, one on either arm. They then put me in my car,
passenger seat of course, and slammed my head in the door a few times before
i was folded neatly into the seat. The window was rolled down and I hung my
head out of it so I could watch the ground. not very smart, on the way home
I was about a block away and only then did I decide it was time to puke. So
we pulled the car over and I literaly flopped out of the car, hitting my
head on the cirb, and rolled onto the grass. I laid there for a while
knowing full well what was about to happen, but didn't care.
Then it hit me,
I projectile vomitted about a foot before turning my head to vomit all over
myself. mmmmmm. Well I couldn't have just gone home like this so my friends
decided to at least take off all the chack soaked shirt I had on. this took
a while cause I'm a big guy and my friends aren't the strongest in the
world. When I finally did get my shirt off they found that I had finished
heaving all my inards and they threw me into the back of a truck, as not to
puke in my car (thanks guys). I then got to ride in the truck half-passed
out unti I got home. When we arrived home, my friends stood me up at the end
of the truck and steadied me for a second...but that second was all that I
needed. I began to run for no aparent reason and dove off the street into a
grassy plain. Things would've been alright had there not been a tree in the
way, I corked my head on the tree and laid motionless for I was to drunk to
do otherwise. My friends got a little concerned about my well being and
began asking me if I could feel my legs. I had no clue so I didn't say
anything, which made my friends think the worst, so they ran up to my house
and rang the doorbell a few times to awake whoever would be home.
fortunately it was my brother and not my mom, but it was still pretty bad.
my brother came out and told me he was my worst nightmare and than dragged
me (rather roughly) into my house.
He then threw me towards the toilet and
fed me loads of water, which didn't stay down too well. it got to the point
where I couldn't open my mouth anymore so he just poured it down my throat.
Of course, there was a lot of noise and my mom came down and tried to help,
but really didn't do anything. my brother told my mom to leave and I
followed up by saying "fuck off mom". brilliant. I was then left till
morning. thank god I survived. I still had to go to work that day in 10
minutes. so I quickly tried to shower and get ready to go. this took a while
cause I was still thick pissed, but now I could handle it a little better.
luckily today was a day that my boss was off and had the rest of the day to
be drunk and hungover. I inspected myself to see what kind of damage I had
done to myself. I mangled my face, my shoulder is fucked, my hip is
scratched up and I can no longer turn my head to the right without it
hurting. all in all, I thought it was a good night cause I didn't feel a
thing during the night.
Drink what you can, puke what you can't. I know this VERY well.