"Dumbfucks Out The Wazoo"

How should I begin the rant? You see, so much has been whirling around this head oí mine, I need to purge it of its contents. For starters, I would like to address the two dumbfucks, Kelly and the Corp bastard. Kelly tries to defend her school so eloquently, yet fails like every student at LCC (Lubbock community college) would undoubtedly fail calculus 1 here at UT and at TAM. The grammar, syntax, and vocabulary are representative of people that attend LCC and are entering the 4th grade. I will go through the letter piece by piece.

ďI go to LCC and we are a real school.Ē Ha ha ha! What a major bunch of crap. Name one school in Texas that compares academically to LCCÖ. Ok, stop, there are none. LCC is the official gutter-dwelling public school in the state of Texas. They placed the piece of shit in the middle of nowhere, so that the Ďstupidí wouldnít rub off onto anyone else. ďWe probably know a lot more about having a damned good time tooĒ. I donít need to address the obvious here, but I will for you LCC kids that donít understand. You are the gutter school, you donít know more about anything than anyone else. On the totem pole of knowledge, the average intelligence of the LCC student body ranks somewhere between a barbell and the shit that comes out of my ears on a Q-tip. Iím sorry, but you donít know about having a good time. Watching sheep mate and drinking schlitz isnít considered having fun in any other part of the world. Iíd rather get a rectal exam than have to live in Lubbock, and attend that farm road rest stop you call a university. Next point: ďSo how about you take you overly annoying school pride at A&MĒ (notice the lack of a r on your). Ummmmm, but excuse me. I think LCC has more school pride than TAM, because you defend your rest stop whole-heartedly. Trying to start quasi-rivalries and such, ha! Trust me, if any school annoys the shit out of anyone else, it is LCC. LCC just thinks it is someone else, because their fragile little dream world would collapse if they realized what they were like. LCC school pride is intrinsically more annoying than TAMís, because LCC annoys everyone. Addressing the ill-worded racial slam at UT: Do you have no respect for your future bosses? Those two groups tend to be some of the hardest working and most intelligent ethnic groups around. They come to UT, because it is the best school in the state of Texas (sorry TAM, but it is true). There is no other school in the state of Texas ranked above UT in academics. Not rice, no one. They laugh at Lubbockís pathetic excuse for a school. I really donít see how your racial comment was even a cut-down. Towards the end, you say something about proud and LCC, and it doesnít make sense to me (I am, by the way, in the engineering honors program at UT, on a scholarship, so do not question my intelligence, because you cannot comprehend it). I think the sheep that LCC raises so that the men have dates regret being associated with LCC. To sum Kellyís attempt at defending her school, it was dubm (misspelled on purpose!). Nowhere in that 4 line defense of LCC (Iím surprised you could come up with that much crap. Wait, thatís right, it was a bunch of shit.) did you come close to belittling UT or TAM, nor gaining esteem for LCC. Sorry.

Ok, now the corps guy. First of all, what the fuck made you think of joining the corps? It is the most ridiculous group of faggots anywhere in Texas (except Lubbock). Whatever you think you are, you arenít (unless you think your stupid). The corps is the equivalent of George Bush serving time in the Texas Air National Guard, keeping charlie out of Texas during the Vietnam War. In Ericís words (one of the smartest men you will ever find), ďthe Texas A&M Corps of Cadets: our country's 136th line of defense, right behind the Mulligan High School ROTC.Ē I donít know how you kids stay so psyched (pronounced siked) about something so laughable. I donít need to address your letter like I did Kellyís, because I donít have to pick apart the letter of a known dumbass (although, after reading her letter it can be concluded that she is). I commonly refer to the corps as a bunch of sheepfuckers. I personally believe that somehow the corps was secretly moved from LCC to TAM, because they would fit in nicely at LCC.

Enough about the Ďdumbfucksí for now. I would like to move on to one of the problems with UT. Everyday, a bunch of socially inept and mentally withdrawn individuals stand at nearly every street corner on the campus handing out religious propaganda. I donít think they realize how their note cards and pamphlets are the primary source of litter on the campus. The only reason I have seen people knowingly take one is for putting their gum in it. Old men and young girls that should have attended Baylor stand poised, new testaments or cards in hand, eagerly dishing them out. I have reached a point where in the not-to-distant future I am going to begin a debate with one of them. Probably an older man, but it could depend on who makes me snap. I want to watch someoneís belief system crumble in front of my eyes, when they realize how they have wasted their lives in something that doesnít exist (Kelly, donít even think of responding to this, I cannot debate people who would not comprehend the words coming out of my mouth). Iím not going to dwell too long in this issue. They are part of a cult (thatís what organized religions are). Their belief system quells their fears about death and the finality of life, as well as relieving them of any responsibility for their own lives.

I pity the fool who makes me snap.

Enough ranting this week, hopefully I wonít have to waste my intelligence in responding to dumbfucks again next week. I would like to dwell on something more important. I think maybe I will cover the Libertarian party. I personally am a libertarian, and I would like to see one elected into the presidency, as well as many in the senate and HOR. But, sadly enough, I do not think that people collectively are intelligent enough for this system to work. Laissez-faire (for you LCC people still reading, pronounced lay-zay -fair) is a wonderful idea, and I shall dwell on that next Thursday.

Petus


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