Yesterday's Homerism

November 2000

11/01/00 Download

The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.

11/02/00 Download

Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

11/03/00 Download

This has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit.

11/04/00 Download

Let's all calm down. Everyone's going to be just fine, as long as I have enough beer. Ahhhhh!

11/05/00 Download

Marge, it'll cost eighty-five hundred dollars! We only have five hundred in the bank, and that leaves... eighty-hundred we need.

11/06/00 Download

I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

11/07/00 Download

In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

11/08/00 Download

I'll be back in a minute. I'm going outside...to stalk...Lenny and Carl. Doh!

11/09/00 Download

Florida, but that's America's wang.

11/10/00 Download

You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.

11/11/00 Download

Who would've thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?

11/12/00 Download

Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!

11/13/00 Download

I wore my extra loose pants for nothing...nothing!

11/14/00 Download

Hear ye, hear ye! Ye olde town crier proclaimed crappy by all! Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world!

11/15/00 Download

Me lose brain? Uh oh.

11/16/00 Download

To Start Press Any Key. Where's the ANY key?

11/17/00 Download

Eh yeah, but without the grease, all you can taste is the hog anus.

11/18/00 Download

Woo-hoo! Look at the blubber fly!

11/19/00 Download

Hee hee hee. Get 'im, Ma.

11/20/00 Download

I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot.

11/21/00 Download

Hello. Operator, give me the number for 9-1-1

11/22/00 Download

Garbage in garbage can...hmm, makes sense.

11/23/00 Download

This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or I'll take your glue away and no one will have any glue to glue with.

11/24/00 Download

Homer: And the big game between Springfield U. and Springfield A&M. I hate Springfield U. so much!
Lisa: You went to Springfield U. You hate A&M.
Homer: So much.

11/25/00 Download

Wow, did you see that thing Marge? So powerful, so commanding, so forceful and raw. It didn't ask, it just took.

11/26/00 Download

Ah, when will Detriot build a sunroof for the husky gentleman?

11/27/00 Download

I don't want to pay four bucks to watch some monkey wannabe lay in the sun.

11/28/00 Download

I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under...my own free will. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many FOX shows as possible. So in summary, NBC bad. FOX good. CBS great.

11/29/00 Download

I've seen plays that were more exciting than this. Honest to God...plays.

11/30/00 Download

Yep. So because of me, all the dorms now have security phones.