October 200010/3/00 It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.10/4/00 Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.10/5/00 Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time...like that day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle.10/6/00 I pity those fools on land, with their 'laws' and 'ethics.' They just can't appreciate the simple joys of a monkey knife fight.10/7/00 To alcohol: the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.10/8/00 See boy, the real money is in bootlegging, not your childish vandalism.10/9/00 Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!10/10/00 Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!10/11/00 So I said to him, 'Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we got here. And as for your Grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that!'10/12/00 The strong must protect the sweet.10/13/00 I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff! And I want in.10/14/00 Yeah, hmm, let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas, ah, make it two.10/15/00 All my life I've been an obese man trapped inside a fat man's body!10/16/00 Now, Marge, just remember. If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English. Ah, Tibor, how many times have you saved my butt?10/17/00 Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead -- do your worst!10/18/00 Download OK Marge, if anyone asks, you require 24 hour nursing care, Lisa is a clergymen, Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam.10/19/00 Download Dear baby, welcome to Dumpville , population you!10/20/00 Download They didn't have any aspirin so I got you some cigarettes.10/21/00 Download Homer no function beer well without.10/22/00 Download Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won't quit. they got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr five dollars??!!!?10/23/00 Download Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother to get one! [downs the beer] But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!10/24/00 Download That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!10/25/00 Download If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.10/26/00 Download Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. And which way to the can?10/27/00 Download Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well, that's nothing, because you have a gambling problem! And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus? Well you have a gambling problem!10/28/00 Download Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!10/29/00 Download All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort. That's it.10/30/00 Download I've gone back to the time when dinosaurs weren't just confined to zoos!10/31/00 Download I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer! |